When I first heard about this for a brief moment I was hoping and praying that it was some sort of sexual thing. Maybe something like Mommy and Daddy get a little quality time to wash off the grime of the day and things work out well for Daddy. Somehow, I knew my prayers would not be answered.
Apparently, Daddy Showers are as bad as you can imagine. They are an actual baby shower, like women used to have; only now it’s for men. These are the kind of things where mom and her friends get together and give tiny little socks, diapers, pacifiers, wipes, creams, and whatever else the new mom to be might need. It was an accepted rite of passage for most women. These traditionally woman-dominated meetings that I was ever lucky enough to be a part of are accompanied with conversation revolving around topics like, vaginal bleeding, cracking nipples, the best breast pump, epidurals, c-sections, swollen feet, popping veins, annoying husbands, and mostly whether or not someone looks fat in something while they are nine months pregnant! Basically, a man’s worst nightmare!
Any man who has been to one of these female torture rituals knows I’m right. They might be too afraid to admit it because their wife or whatever is sitting right next to them, but get them to the pub or anywhere in manly company and they’ll tell you straight. The “shower” is a female aberration. The fact that a male version of this horror has been created supposedly by men is proof that we are much further gone than anyone wants to admit. What the hell!
Can’t a man just meet his friends at the bar, eat wings, and watch a game anymore? Now it has to be called a “shower” complete with diapers, gifts, and ridiculous themed games. Can we get any more feminine? Look at the link to the article. I’m surprised any of those metro-men in the picture were able to impregnate anyone. So what happens at a Daddy Shower? Do they exchange “Man-purses”? Why not trade panties and hugs? Why not give each other massages and get mini-pedis?
Would John Wayne go to a Daddy Shower? Hell no. C’mon American man, grow a pair! Just because women are equal doesn’t mean you have become one. If you want to have a man event because you’re proud you knocked up your wife, fine. Go shoot something. Meet at your man-cave and watch Gladiator or smoke cigars while playing cards. Basically, do something women would HATE! Be a man, and don’t give me that, I’m a stay at home dad crap either! Just because you are doing what was stereotypically the female role doesn’t mean you have to wear a dress! Stop trying to be a woman. You’re not having your period. You don’t need a diaper party, she will get plenty of them, I promise. I have four kids. Been there done that.
Basically, I have nothing against men getting together to celebrate that they will be fathers. Being a father is a very special life changing event. It is an honor, and no woman can be a father, it’s a man thing. The systemic destruction of masculinity is almost complete. Only old-thinking stereotypes like me are holding onto the last vestiges of politically incorrect and awesome manhood. Throw away the plaid sweater and go buy a Carhart, I beg you. Watch Full Metal Jacket. Do anything but have a Daddy Shower!
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