President Nouri al-Maliki of Iraq is wishing he’d retired and moved to Britain about now, because the situation he is in makes The Godfather look like a kid’s movie. The horse trading that’s going on behind the scenes today in old Mesopotamia would make our golf loving president’s head spin. The spread on Maliki making it out of this mess alive has to be narrowing by the hour. Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer comes to mind but with so many enemies acting like friends, who to pick?
To the mattresses, for sure, but I don’t think they have too many of those in the Middle East. How about, leave the gun take the Cannoli? No, no Cannoli’s in the sandbox of the world either. I’m not sure what they eat in the cradle of civilization, but if Maliki has a favorite, he better cook it up because his last meal could be any minute. When Iran sends a couple thousand troops into Iraq and they are welcomed with open arms, the feces is about to go down. Those guys fought a war against each other in the 80’s, there’s no love there. I wouldn’t be surprised if a package of fish showed up recently wrapped in an Iraqi Army uniform because the ISIS terrorists have killed most of them or they’ve fled. They sleep with the fishes.
Who is Maliki supposed to turn to for help?
America of course, we are there to help our friends in Iraq, right? I mean it was our boys who died liberating them from Saddam. Like 4500 of our soldiers died in the hot sand and 32000 of them are wounded and maimed. It was our Trillion dollars that put those soldiers there with all kinds of cool toys, like tanks, vehicles, planes, big guns, little guns, bombs you throw, bombs you shoot, glasses to see bad guys in the dark, and on and on. I recently discovered that more 9 billion of our Trillion dollars is unaccounted for. Meaning lost or stolen. 9 billion dollars. I wonder if Maliki knows where that went? Probably with the WMD’s.
With that kind of investment of blood, sweat, tears and dollars, we’re obviously going to be there for our friends the Iraqis. I mean what kind of people would invest that much and just walk away with nothing? Who would do that and not even take some oil or something for the effort? Oh I guess we would. Sorry about that Maliki, sorry about that poor citizen, I guess you’re on your own, good luck. What are Maliki’s choices? How will he survive this?
Alliances with the strongest person willing to help of course. Strength is the only thing that has been respected in Mesopotamia for hundreds of years. Just ask the Persian Empire, the Roman Empire, Alexander the Great, and many more, the Ottoman Empire, the Baaths, and the Brits how easy it is to make a go of it in Babylon. Well Maliki is in the middle of it now. President Obama sent in a few hundred special ops guys to guard the embassy as they are shredding the hell out of every document in there and evacuating everyone not vital. I heard they got out between a thousand and fifteen hundred Americans today.
Do you hear that chopper? Sounds kinda like Saigon. Don’t get left behind, you’re likely to lose your head on YouTube if you do. I’ve heard some military guys say that Baghdad won’t fall, but it already has. We are diminished even more and Iran has stepped onto the stage as a power player. The Shias and the Sunnis are likely to escalate this into a civil war that will engulf the whole region whether Baghdad literally falls or not in the next couple days. Ancient scores are about to be settled and since we have no stomach to reclaim the Iraq that we paid such a dear price for, I say, let them fight it out. Sometimes, it’s just gotta happen. Clear the blood.
Now might be a good time to call Rick Perry and fire up every abandoned and capped oil well in Texas and ASAP. Also, immediately stop exporting oil anywhere, cause we might want it for ourselves.
You guys have a nice war, we’ll sit this one out.
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