Obama Addresses Border After Purposely Not Visiting It

Acknowledgement

After a whirlwind night of boozing and partying on the town in Denver, a reluctant President Obama took 20 minutes out of his busy schedule of slacking off in Texas to hold a mini-news conference about the border crisis on Wednesday evening. Acknowledging that it’s a “dangerous situation,” Obama spent most of the presser focusing on the $3.7 billion dollars in emergency funding that he’s seeking, which critics have been quick to point out wouldn’t actually move the needle at all on securing the border. Still, the president insisted that security IS his goal, and that the children who are pouring across the border right now will, according to him, likely be sent home.

As with most contentious issues, Obama’s main focus was on blaming the Republicans in Congress for “playing politics” with the issue. “If I sponsored a bill declaring apple pie American, it might fall victim to partisan politics,” Barack lamented. He went on to include some typical Bush blame as well, insisting that the crisis predates his administration.

Obama fails to realize that throwing money at the problem is not what most Republicans are looking for, and as usual, he’s setting up a straw man argument when he acts as if a wad of $3.7 billion bucks is the only possible solution in the world. In his mind, if Republicans oppose his money plan, they’re somehow arguing against fixing the problem. In reality, he’s simply not listening to any proposals that aren’t his own. He also claimed that Texas Governor Rick Perry has been pushing for him to bypass Congress and fix the problem on his own. I’m sure the facts surrounding that claim will trickle out shortly, but I would hazard to guess that it’s less than truthful, since Perry has presidential ambitions of his own and would (hopefully) know better than to encourage lawlessness. Moreover, since when would Obama turn down such an opportunity to ignore Congress, especially if the proposal was coming from a Republican governor? That would never happen. Instead, he’d be plastering Perry’s plan all over town. “I’m getting sued now by Mr. Boehner,” decried Obama, as if that has humbled him in the very least on his quest for more executive orders.

And what of not visiting the border? Barry was asked about that too. There’s “nothing that is taking place down there that I am not intimately aware of,” he asserted, as he pointed out that DHS Secretary Jeh Johnson has made five appearances on the border already. Yeah, that’s wonderful…seeing as how the average American has no clue who Jeh Johnson even is. But the president continued to dig his heels in. “This isn’t theater. I’m not interested in photo-ops,” he said.

Strangely, he was totally cool with this photo-op the night before:

But enough of this back-breaking work for the hardest working prez around…am I right, guys? Now, it’s time to put the “fun” in fund-raise!


Matt Fox

Senior Editor

Fox has history in broadcasting that spans two decades. From his early days as an FM host and club DJ in the mid-90′s to his later experiences in political talk radio, he has always had a knack for combining topical news with his love for popular culture. Those experiences culminated in his position as executive producer for several radio shows featured in the TALKERS Heavy 100. Originally from New York, Fox has made the great pilgrimage down to sunny south Florida.

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