Is TGI Fridays trying to kill every one of us? All signs point to yes, with the announcement of “endless appetizers.” It’s exactly what it sounds like: for a measly 10 dollars, you’ll be able to walk into any TGI Fridays and stuff your face with an unending supply of any of these items: Boneless Buffalo Wings, Mozzarella Sticks, Pan-Seared Pot Stickers, Loaded Potato Skins, Tuscan Spinach Dip, Crispy Green Bean Fries, and Garlic & Basil Bruschetta. I think I experienced a mild cardiac arrest simply by typing that.
In an interview with USA Today, Fridays chief marketing officer Brian Gies put at ease the concerns of any Fridays fans who worry that they won’t be able to truly get their fill. When they say endless, they MEAN it:
“No one should be embarrassed for coming into Fridays and ordering whatever they want to order. They will not be bawled out. There will be no policing or hand-slapping.”
Fear not, Brian. There are plenty of other reasons to be embarrassed for coming into Fridays.
Anyway, this is all great news if you’re hoping to look like “Fat Mac” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but potentially dangerous if you aren’t paying attention. One plate of their “Loaded Potato Skins” alone clocks in at roughly 1,430 calories. Now imagine an endless parade of them. TGI Fridays will simply continue bringing appetizers to your table until the point at which you finally instruct your waiter or waitress to stop. Or, you know, until you just drop dead.
On a slightly healthier note, the promotion is a limited summer-long event only. So…enjoy it while you can. Or don’t.
Fridays’ announcement comes at the same time a completely un-shocking new study reveals that the obesity epidemic in America is a result of — wait for it — not exercising. They claim lack of exercise is even worse than over-eating. But combine avoiding the gym WITH “endless appetizers,” and it’s no wonder we’re collectively starting to look like…
And all this time I’ve been trying my hardest not to load up on bread…
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