A sad tale regarding a stolen Barack Obama statue that could have had a very tragic conclusion resulted in a happy ending. Well, “happy” for the moron that paid over $1,200 for it anyway.
You see, Tiffany Bruce of Bear Creek, Pennsylvania paid the exorbitant fee for her Barry statue a few years back. She kept it on her porch, as it was permanently posed like a Ronald McDonald statue. Well, perhaps not that permanent, because this week, she awoke to discover that her beloved Barry…was missing!
“I peeked my head out the door, and Obama’s gone, and I kind of went into a panic. I couldn’t breathe, and I had to go to the hospital,” Tiffany said to News Channel 4.
Luckily for her, the nervous breakdown didn’t last long. Barack was soon discovered engaging in some big pimpin’ at the Francis E. Walter Dam, drinking some Twisted Tea and preparing to have a smoke:
There’s been no indication of how BHO ended up at the dam, but there was no apparent vandalism…and he sure looked like he was having a “dam” good time. I’m convinced that he may have simply wandered over there for a brief change of scenery.
The only real travesty here is that Tiffany is now reconsidering her plans to give Barry a friend. “I was going to get a Hillary too, but I don’t want to do it now,” she said. Over time, I’m sure she’ll eventually come around. That is, if she’s not been hospitalized after precious Barack leaves Washington.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think Statue Obama is pretty cool. By simply sitting around in that Don Draper pose and drinking in the daytime, he’s already a hell of a lot more productive than the *real* Obama is.
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