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#RaceTogether — Would You Like White Guilt With That Latte?

Betcha never thought you’d feel guilty about ordering a white chocolate latte?

Starbucks, home of the coffee that costs as much as a cocktail, is now encouraging their nearly 200,000 employees to initiate talk of race relations with customers. They even slapped a cutesy name on this move: “Race Together.”

In a desperate move of white guilt, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said this week in a statement that, “We at Starbucks should be willing to discuss these issues in America.”

Wait, didn’t the Civil Rights Act pass in the 60s?

Never mind the fact that most of the leadership at Starbucks is white… Schultz just wants to make sure that there’s not too much cream in your social circle. Because, you know, when selecting friends, I’m sure proper race dispersion is at the top of your list.

Though baristas will not be required to start chatting with you about race, those pushing it remain the epitome of the “rich, white corporate fat cat,” or, “the upper one percent.” Says wannabe hippie, Whole Foods co-CEO Walter Robb, “At Whole Foods we call it conscious capitalism.”

According to a USA Today supplement, some of the “conversation starters” will include a fill-in-the-blank question of… “In the past year, I have been to the home of someone of a different race ___ times.”

This initiative will be pushed most in cities such as Oakland, Los Angeles, St. Louis, New York, and Chicago. Since those are cities with large non-white populations, will the Frappuccino peddlers probe African Americans patrons about how many Caucasian homes they’ve been to?

Should be interesting.

Not to sound cliche, but in the year 2015, does anyone even notice one’s race?

To quote Hillary Clinton, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

The Atlantic calls articles like mine “overcaffinated attacks.” They say, “Grappling imperfectly with race in America is not a moral failing or cause to be disparaged.”

Really? Because what screams “race relations” more than a 20-something, apron-clad barista grilling you about the color of your friends?

It’s not even much ado about nothing, it’s much ado about perpetuating a victim mentality and further dividing America by pointing out our differences instead of similarities. Without this reactionary kind of weirdness from the powers that be from government and big corporations, we would not currently be mired in a make-believe race war.

“We have problems in this country with regards to race,” Schultz says. Uh huh.

It’s detached people like this CEO of the notoriously-overrated coffee and overpriced-scone chain that are part of the problem.

The bottom line is this: because we live in a day in age when everyone MUST be a victim, we’ve created a brand new race war based almost entirely on false pretenses.

Get a grip, America…and keep the barista banter to skim or whole milk in your cappuccino.


Christine Johnston

Christine Johnston is a Millennial talk radio, news, and TV producer based out of Dallas, Texas. She has a history rich in media and entrepreneurialism. Since 2003, Christine has been in both local and national media and politics, on both sides of the mic and camera.

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