Survey Says: Fat Kids Are Slightly Less Fat Thanks to Michelle Obama

Today we learned that fat kids are slightly less fat. The obesity rate among America’s young has fallen by 43% since 2003-2004, the first broad decline in years, a new national study conducted by the Centers for Decease Control (CDC) has found.

“This is the first time we’ve seen any indication of any significant decrease in any group,” said Cynthia Ogden, a researcher for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the lead author of the report.

And, of course, none of the reductions in childhood obesity (as minimal as they appear to be) would be possible if it were not for Michelle Obama’s tireless effort to tell people how to feed their kids.

The knee pad media couldn’t wait to shower the anti-carb queen in praise.

This is, “Why Michelle Obama’s ‘Let’s Move’ matters,” proclaimed MSNBC. “Michelle Obama Is Helping Defeat Obesity,” reads a headline from US News and World Reports. 

Interestingly enough, a USDA study conducted around the same time period as the CDC’s latest study found that, “15.9 million children lived in food insecure households in 2012,” and that, “20% or more of the child population in 37 states and D.C. lived in food insecure households.”

So is America’s starving children pulling down the averages of all the fatter kids?

**NOTE**: This author lost 10 pounds while writing this article. Thanks, Obama.