U.S. Pentagon Busy at Work Ensuring Santa Claus Has a Successful Mission

12.23.2014 | Matt Fox |

With all of the failures related to the operation to “degrade and destroy ISIS,” not to mention the threat of more cyber-attacks from North Korea, it’s understandable why young people might be concerned that the Obama administration isn’t properly equipped for Santa Claus’ big mission this week. But luckily for them, Pentagon mouthpiece John Kirby is here to put all children (and people named Joe Biden) at ease.

NORAD’s “anti-Grinch firewall is up and monitoring for threats, and they are confident that the AGFW, anti-Grinch firewall, can defeat any malicious attacks,” Kirby assured reporters today.

Shortly after the important press conference, President Obama let out a huge sigh of relief. Ever since he departed for Honolulu, he has reportedly been extremely nervous that Santa might encounter trouble this time around.

Watch the Pentagon’s announcement above.

Matt Fox

Senior Editor

Fox has history in broadcasting that spans two decades. From his early days as an FM host and club DJ in the mid-90′s to his later experiences in political talk radio, he has always had a knack for combining topical news with his love for popular culture. Those experiences culminated in his position as executive producer for several radio shows featured in the TALKERS Heavy 100. Originally from New York, Fox has made the great pilgrimage down to sunny south Florida.

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