• McDonald’s New ‘Hamburglar’ Is Already Causing Controversy

    He’s still a man. And he’s still white. The internet is all abuzz right now over McDonald’s announcement and unveiling of its new Hamburglar mascot.

    That the Hamburglar’s sex hasn’t changed in decades is surely pissing off feminists who want to see a female hamburger thief. And the fact that the new Hamburglar is a Gringo probably has a bunch of black nationalists’ flipping out.

    And get this, even some journalists are attacking the very idea of a burger thief as an effective marketing tool.

    Here’s that weird argument from Alex Fitzpatrick of Time:

    But there’s a more important point to be made: The Hamburglar’s prime motivation— hamburger theft, hence the moniker—makes no sense, economically.

    The stuff that’s most frequently targeted by thieves, like money, jewelry and cars, is stolen because it’s high-priced. That’s why smartphone makers are trying to reduce theft of mobile devices by letting their owners brick them from afar for example. If a stolen smartphone gets bricked, it’s no longer worth anything to potential buyers—which should in turn mean less smartphone theft overall.

    Stealing hamburgers makes no sense because burgers keep their already low value for one, two hours tops. By then, they’re cold and inedible. (And don’t even try to pull that microwave nonsense, because nobody wants a reheated Big Mac.) Volume is a questionable motivation here too, because the Hamburglar’s method of stashing his burglared burgers in a big sack puts them at high risk of losing their structural integrity. (Speaking from anecdotal experience.)

    You might argue the Hamburglar is stealing burgers for his own consumption, Cookie Monster style. But there’s little evidence of that. Just look at the guy—does that look like someone who subsists mostly on Big Macs? Hardly.

    Then there’s the chance that, like The Dark Night’s Joker, the Hamburglar just wants to watch the world burn. He’s an element of chaos in McDonaldland, unpredictable and terrifying because his actions aren’t grounded in logic. That would make him terrifying. But until we see proof of that, you can rest easy: Hamburglar is nothing to be feared.


    Dude, it’s not that damn serious.

    McDonald’s has spent the last few years trying to clean up its public image. Its promised to pay employees higher wages. The burger giant has also made efforts to cut out unhealthy preservatives from its products. This new Hamburglar is just the latest attempt from McDonald’s to get on the good side of investors and the only demographic that it’s truly concerned with–hungry consumers.

    Jerome Hudson

    Managing Editor

    Jerome Hudson has written for numerous national outlets, including The Hill, National Review, and The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and was recognized as one of Florida’s emerging stars, having been included in the list “25 Under 30: Florida’s Rising Young Political Class.” Hudson is a Savannah, Ga. native who currently resides in Florida.

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