• Sorority Cancels Kentucky Derby Party Because…Racism

    The Kappa Delta Epsilon Sorority of Dartmouth College recently caved to protesters and canceled an annual Kentucky Derby Party.

    Gone are the “Mint Juleps” and “Fancy Hats” because we wouldn’t want to be considered “economically elitist”. Sorry, KDE girls, but being in college and in a sorority makes you and your evil parents economically elitist.

    Of course, it used to just mean your parents had done well enough in life to send you to a good school and your sorority was simply a networking and support tool that many young adults enjoy as they first leave the comforts of home.

    But that was then. Now we know that you sorority girls and your evil Kentucky Derby Party are raging racists and must be brought low.

    According to The Daily Caller:

    A sorority at Dartmouth College has canceled an annual Kentucky Derby-themed party in response to protesters who complained that basing a party on the popular horse race was racist.

    Every year, Kappa Delta Epsilon (KDE) holds an invite-only party in the spring. Until last year, the party was held the same weekend as the Kentucky Derby, which was used as the party’s theme.

    In 2015, several Dartmouth students protested outside the party as part of a larger protest march, saying the exclusive party was racist and economically elitist.

    The protesting made the ladies at KDE think about the error in their ways.

    “We realized that if anyone on campus felt uncomfortable or upset with the theme, then we obviously shouldn’t have it,” said KDE social chair Jehanna Axelrod.

    KDE vice president Nikol Oydanich said house members were convinced by critics that the party was racially offensive because it evoked the aesthetics of the plantation-era South.

    Now that the protesters have achieved their goal. The sorority has decided to scrap the Kentucky Derby Party in favor of a Woodstock themed party.

    So to make things worse, they are going to dump a classy party that promotes capitalism, horse employment and sports entertainment in favor of worshiping at the God of all Hippiedom…Woodstock!

    Instead of fancy hats and snobbish attitudes, they will go bra-less and drop acid!

    Big improvement.

    Protesters. Ruining cool things everywhere they go.

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