• Post-Lockdown League Presses On: Pigskin Pundits Picks, NFL Week Two

    Surge Summary: Pigskin Pundit forecasts x’s and o’s and supplies some analysis for National Football League games, week number two.

    by Pigskin Pundit (Nathan Clark)

    Week 1 is history, and always unpredictable.  We say a fond and sad farewell to retiring Pittsburgh linebacker Ryan Shazier, a dynamic, classy player whose glowing NFL career was cut short by injury.  He played his position with the verve and explosiveness reminiscent of Junior Seau.  His untimely retirement is a reminder to us fans that this game we love and often take for granted exacts a significant toll on its members. Peace, health and success to Shazier in his new endeavors, and thanks for some great football memories.

    For the picks, I was a humbling 9-7 last week.  Better results loom as things settle out.  Here are this week’s picks.

    Bengals at Browns – The only certainty to this game is that someone will leave with a win.  Probably.  The only other certainty is that Joe ‘Beast of Burden’ Burrow will be a better NFL QB than Baker Mayfield.  Burrow puts Cincy on his back and brays his way to a first win.  Hee haw.

    Jags at Titans – Moustache Magic ends this week, as Jacksonville clashes with the Titans.  Tennessee will get Kraken when they unleash Derrick Henry upon the hapless Jags D.  The homers in Nashville will enjoy THIS odyssey.

    Panthers at Bucs – Those who choose to ride Bruce Arians’ Good Times bus will eventually wind up underneath it, as Coach happily skewers his players publicly – it’s his ‘love language’…WHACK!  He left affectionate tire marks all over Tom Brady after losing the opener to New Orleans, and let’s just establish what I have known for two years – Rob Gronkowski was done BEFORE he retired, and he’s still done.  I don’t see him being around after Week 8, either injured, dumped or quit.  He gets less separation than Bill & Hillary Clinton at a Hooters restaurant.  Even so, Tompa should muster up enough moxie to defang Carolina’s Cats.  Pirates pummel the Panthers.

    Broncos at Steelers – After watching Tomlin’s Terrors stifle Saquon Barkley last week, I think they will handle Mel Gordon fairly well in this tilt.  Denver shows steady signs of improvement, but Steeling a road win in Pittsburgh probably ain’t gonna happen yet.  Big Ben & Co ring the Broncos’ bell.

    Rams at Eagles – “..and everywhere that Carson Wentz, the Rams were sure to go”…The WFT’s meh pass rush chased Wentz ragged last week, so how is he going to handle LA’s pressure?  Not well, especially with Jalen Ramsey lurking out there for errant throws.  Rams snap the Eagles’ wings.

    Niners at Jets – What’s more dangerous than a pissed 49ers team playing the cupcake Jets after losing their opener to Phoenix?  Nothing.  If Jimmy ‘Get A Grip’ Garoppolo can play even half-way decent, Adam Gase gets fired Monday.  Prospectors cool the Jets in Gotham.

    Bills at Dolphins – My brother referred to Miami’s QB as Fitzception after last week’s slingaround, and I have to agree it was epically bad for Tryin’ Ryan.  This week will be worse, against the iron teeth of that Buffalo D.  I like Brian Flores and think Miami will do better under him than his last 3 predecessors, but they will remain 0-fer this week nonetheless.  Buffalo fries the Fish.

    Vikings at Colts – Well, the Norsemen got battle-axed at home last week, but they are just plain better than the Colts, who stumbled against lowly Jacksonville.  I expect Minnesota to shake off the Packer loss and pillage and burn Indy this week.  Just remember: ALL Viking conquests historically were ‘away games’.  Purple Punishers pound hapless homebound Horseshoes.

    Lions at Packers – Time to talk about the elephant in the room…with the beard and pencil behind his ear.  Matt Patricia should be facing the ‘firing’ squad in the next few weeks, after his Captain Queeg performance on Sunday and his appalling record and lack of perspective.  I could hear the ball bearings clacking around in his hand as he deflected a serious question about his 4th quarter coaching inadequacies by taking credit for calling Malcolm Butler’s SuperBowl interception, which the Patriots’ own recordings after the fact indicate he did not make.  Ignore that little man behind the curtain, the great and powerful Oz has spoken.  This week the Lyins will get canned by the Packers, and maybe Patricia will get canned, too.  His cup runneth empty.

    Falcons at Cowboys – Who is Dallas?  Do they know?  This team gets touted every dang season as the NFC champ-in-waiting, and what have they accomplished? ZIPPO.  Getting slagged in LA last week was an ignoble start, and Lord Jones hates it when crow is on the menu.  This week Falcon is on the menu, but who will be eating whom?  Dallas is 1-7 in 1-score games since 2019.  If Matty Ryan keeps it close, the Cowboys may continue that trend.  Falcons soar over the all-hat, no-cattle Cowboys.

    Giants at Bears – Trubisky, Falsebisky.  The toothless Lions handed Li’l Mitch a win last week, but I am still all in on the Giants playing better and pulling out some wins.  Da Bears already know they don’t have ‘their’ quarterback, so this is a great opportunity for Danny Dimes and his team to grab a road win.  Gotham grapples the grizzlies.

    WFT at Cardinals – Week 1’s two surprise victors clash in the desert.  The Cards shocked the Niners with a balanced offensive game, while the Washington Snyders repeatedly buried Carson Wentz, with 8 sacks.  In Arizona, Kingsbury holds all the Cards over Rivera’s No-Names.

    Chiefs at Chargers – Andy Reid’s Lords of the Rings will be extending their winning ways this week over the DeadBolts.  In no phase of the game is Anthony Lynn’s team better than KC, sadly having fallen from challenger two seasons ago to chumps now.  Chiefs have the Precious, and they ain’t giving it up.

    Ravens at Texans – Look for Baltimore to change its name to Scoresomemore, as this powerhouse begins to cut loose with its offensive firepower.  Action Jackson’s QB rating last week was 152, on 20 of 25 passing!  Add to that a nasty defense, and Houston will have faced the two top AFC teams in the first two weeks.  They’ll need a bye in Week 3 to recover psychologically.  Blackbirds bludgeon the Bullheads.

    Patriots at Seahawks – I love Belichick’s ability to prepare his team for an opponent ….but this Seattle team is going to prove too much to handle.  The NFL is still a passing league, and the Patriots are NOT prepared to play airball against a team like this. Everything Cam Newton does, Russell Wilson does better.  Jamal Adams is explosively disruptive on defense, and the Patriots have nobody like him on their side of the D. Seattle may be smokey this week, but on Sunday night there will be fire, from Patriots getting scorched.  Squawks muzzle the Muskets.

    Saints at Raiders – The newly-minted Vegas Raiders are going to inaugurate their new stadium Monday night….with a loss.  It should be a fun game to watch, as both teams can score, but the Saints can play some D too, and Janoris Jenkins will be ball-hawking on Derek Carr’s heaves downfield.  Jacobs will get some nice yards pushing the pigskin, but I don’t see Gruden’s heathens having enough weapons to stave off the advance of Christendom, as the Saints go marching in.  Brees blows through the desert.

    Enjoy the games! – PP

    The views here are those of the author and not necessarily Daily Surge

    Image: https://www.needpix.com/photo/1507334/sports-people-nfl-artmonk-widereceiver-washington-redskins-hallfame-posterizationartwork

    Nathan Clark is a conservative commentator who resides with his wife in New Hampshire. He is passionate about preserving the vision of our nation’s Founders and advancing those tried and true principles deep into America’s future. His interests range broadly from flyfishing, cooking and shooting to pro sports, gardening, live music and fine-scale modeling.

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