• A Coronavirus Hobbled League … Still: Pigskin Pundit’s Picks, Week 6

    Surge Summary: As COVID-19 continues to wreak havoc in the NFL, games will be played this weekend. Pigskin Pundit’s predictions for week number six.

    by Pigskin Pundit (Nate Clark)

    I have to get one non-football thing out of the way, first.  It’s darned hard to love LeBron James, when he’s so busy loving himself.  Never has anybody been so entitled all their life and b_tched more about ‘disrespect’ and lack of adoration. Grow up, you cosseted crybaby.  You’ll never be the greatest.  There, I feel better.

    Speaking of feeling better, the Titans emerged from their Covid woes to beat the living paste out of the 4-0 Bills, slapping them back to reality.  The Patriots weren’t feeling too good about how the NFL was shafting them, so they pressured the league to back the heck off of forcing the Denver game, and now it will be played a week later.  Lotsa this kind of inconvenience and schedule-shifting is going to be necessary as the NFL continues to muddle about with the pandemic issue.  Not their finest hour, but what do you expect with Goodell at the helm?  Last week I went 9-5, so 50-27 for the year.  Here’s the picks.

    Broncos at Patriots – If Newton is back, look for the Pats to hold sway at home, regardless of who takes snaps for the Ponies.  New England should rely heavily on the ground pounders to control the clock, and essentially starve Denver out.  Pats prevail in a pedestrian punchout.

    Texans at Titans – The Butler did it.  Malcolm Butler robbed Josh Allen twice, while Buffalo’s defense dissolved before the Titans’ offense.  Houston earned a win from the lowly Sags last week, but Tennessee is going to be too hot to Tannehandle.  AJ Brown and The Wreck star in a remake of The Undefeated.

    Browns at Steelers – A battle for the division lead looms.  The Browns haven’t been 4-1 since Belichick coached them right after Ohio received statehood…The Steelers are playing like Steelers again this season, stout on defense as always and Timelessberger just keeps playing like a top-tier QB.  The targets change in Pittsburgh, but the gun remains accurate and strong.  Steelers eat the Brownies for dessert.

    Ravens at Eagles – It’s all about running and throwing.  While Wentz is busy throwing to the other teams’ jerseys (9 picks), Lamar the Star is busy hitting his receivers for big gainers.  And while Action Jackson is running the ball into the endzone weekly, Wentz is busy running for his life as walls of aggressive tacklers collapse his fragile pocket. Sanders’ Miles of running are unlikely to unstick Philly’s ineffective offense against this stalwart Baltimore D.  Ravens say ‘Nevermore’ to the Eagles.

    WFT at Giants – These two teams are quarterback killers…their own, to be specific.  We all watched aghast last week as the ghost of Alex Smith (is he still alive?) took 8 sacks in his improbable return.  Danny Dimes has eaten turf 16 times this season.  What are the odds he finishes the season?  Anyway, although this game counts, nobody cares, as the NFC East, well….sucks.  Deadspins sack the Jints into oblivion, for the win.

    Falcons at Vikings – Atlanta has become Atlantis, so far underwater they ain’t coming back up.  Their depth chart is more like a depth charge, sinking fast and blowing up.  Coach Quinn – gone.  GM Dimitrov – outta here faster than you can say ‘Home Depot’.  Matty Heisman….tenuous.  The Vikings should have no problem raiding and pillaging this fire sale.  Vikes put the spikes to a beaten foe.

    Lions at Jaguars – Dreadful catfight of a game.  Staffy hasn’t been able to keep Patricia’s Lyin’s moving forward, and their defense is more meow than ROAR.  Neither team does anything particularly well, so in this yawner of mediocrity, Jags hang toe-tags on Detroit.

    Bengals at Colts – Cincy knows they are rebuilding, and they have shown some fight in every game.  Indy is looking to go ‘next level’, but Old Man Rivers has to be kept on a pitch count or he gives up the big ones.  Burrow has had to burrow into the turf 7 times in each of the last two games, so Cincy has to buy him time if they hope to win.  In a close one, the Horseshoes prove lucky at home.

    Bears at Panthers – Good matchup.  Carolina and Chicago are both overachieving at this point, which means they have figured out what they want to do on both sides of the ball, and minimized their weaknesses.  Both teams play decent pass defense, with the edge to the Bears.  Both have fair running games, and each QB seems to stay in his lane and not wander into low-percentage play territory.  DaBears clamped Brady down for a win, so I am thinking they will stifle Steady Teddy as well.  Chicago is fina than old Carolina.

    Jets at Dolphins – Gace the disgrace will be put in his place, after his team again falls on its face.  The Beard might look weird but before he appeared, the Dolphins weren’t feared though their loyal fans cheered.  Ryan and Brian get credit for tryin’ to keep on relyin’ on hope, and not dyin’.  Had enough?  So have the Jets.  They lose again.

    Packers at Buccaneers – Battle of the Bays here.  Two future HOFers going at it, each with a key target back from injury this week (Devonte Adams, Chris Godwin).  Green Bay is an offensive machine, with only ONE 3-and-out this entire season!  Brady and Rodgers have only faced each other twice, so this matchup is that rarest of opportunities to watch two legends grapple for supremacy.  In an absolute squeaker to the end, the victory goes to………the Pack.

    Rams at Niners – In every category that matters, the Rams surpass the Niners.  If we see C.J. Beathard taking snaps again this week, you can mail it in along with your presidential ballot.  Aaron Donald will be roaring into SF’s pocket, like the IRS on April 15.  The Niners’ vaunted defense has played mediocre in the last few weeks, partly due to injuries and partly not.  Is the costly Garoppolo experiment over for Kyle Shanahan?  It’s looking that way.  How the mighty have fallen, in such a short time.  Rams slam San Fran.

    Chiefs at Bills – Both these 4-1 division leaders were unmasked as mortal last week, getting thumped by feisty opponents.  MNF is the beneficiary of this rebound game for one of these teams, while the loser will be left questioning where they really stand.  Bet the over on this one, and enjoy the ride.  KC shows why they are called the Chiefs.

    Cardinals at Cowboys – This is the who-cares game.  Dallas just became irrelevant (WHAT?) with the loss of Prescott for the season, and Arizona is fun to watch but still not playing any kind of consistent football.  Chandler Jones’ being gone for the season with biceps surgery is going to hurt Zona’s D in a big way.  In a game most will probably ignore, gimme the Redbirds over the Red Rifle rerun.

    Enjoy the games!


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