• Pigskin Pundit Predictions as Coaches Tumble: NFL Week # Six

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    Surge Summary: The NFL is seeing its coaching staffs upended. What does this mean for the season? Pigskin Pundit weighs in with his predictions for week # six. 

    by Pigskin Pundit (Nate Clark)  

    Week 5 is in the books, and some teams are really coming to the reckoning point.  Like so many promising college coaches before him, the NFL broke the Rhule and Carolina sent him hustling back to the cozy college ranks where he belongs.  The Cliff Kingsbury experiment is about to end the same way, as the Cardinals are just a hot mess in game management, and Hackett’s Broncos can’t seem to hack it at the pro level.  My opinion is that Denver also needs to jettison John Elway, before he destroys his legacy and people only remember him for his ineptitude at football operations.  He has finally flamed that franchise out with the gross contract and draft capital expended on Russell Wilson, who seems to have forgotten how to play football in the thin air of Mile High stadium.  With all the players currently in concussion protocol, this is rapidly becoming the Broken Coconut league.  For my part, I went 11-5 for the second week in a row (60% now), so the Pundit is feeling positively pugilistic about his success going forward.  Here’s the picks.

    Commanders at Bears – The Collapsers head to Bear country, and they will find it dangerous, oh my!  Carson Wentz has proven for all time that he is who we thought he was…not a good NFL QB, period.  He is Trubisky, Ryan Leaf, Josh Rosen, Rick Mirer, Sam Darnold, Baker Mayfield, etc.  Big promise, no payout.  The Bears gave Minnesota all they could handle last week, and they will give Washington more than they can handle.  Riverboat Ron is about to run his career aground on the shores of Lake Michigan.  Chicago, Chicago, it’s my kind of town.

    49ers at Falcons – First of all, Grady Jarrett got jobbed by the refs and the ‘Tom Brady’ effect.  Clean tackle, perfectly executed, no unnecessary violence.  Tom Brady got away with TWO kicks at Jarrett during the game.  And nobody knows better than Grady Jarrett that the game is never over until the clock stops (SuperBowl LI).  That call will matter as the season goes on.  The Falcons have struggled mightily to get off the ground, but ground game seems to be all they have, as ‘Maui’ Mariota has shown that he is not a passer, in this passing league.  His rushing numbers are pretty, but they come at the expense of his throwing numbers, which are paltry.  The Niners are a handful, and Arthur Smith can’t scheme away his team’s lack of offensive firepower against Shanahan’s prospectors.  Lump Mariota into that class of ‘failure to launch’ QBs…and lump this game into San Fran’s win column.

    Patriots at Browns – Bill Belichick did exactly what I thought he would last week, taking away what the other team does best, which in Detroit’s case was scoring.  Boy, did he ever.  Danny Campbell’s Cryin’s got slapped scoreless, and Jared Goff once again got stymied by Belichick’s defense, like he did in the SuperBowl.  The Browns are a shambles (again).  Nick Chubb does what he does, but Jacoby Brissett is a known quantity to New England, and this team can play some defense.  Can Cleveland stuff Rhamondre Stephenson for 60 minutes?  No other team has.  Belichick resurrects the 1941 Navy playbook, as the Pats grind out an ugly road win.

    Jets at Packers – Green Bay has shocked the world twice this season, losing in London to Brian Daboll’s 4-1 Giants last week, and nearly losing at home in OT the week before to a Patriots team led by a 3rd string rookie QB.  I keep expecting Rodgers to have a breakout game, but he still doesn’t seem to be on the same page as his receivers.  Here’s another shocker; the Packers have the SAME record as the Jets!  Gang Green’s multitude of high draft picks are starting to turn the team around, and I don’t even mean Zach Wilson.  Breece Hall is ablaze, Sauce is ‘Garding’ the passing lanes and DJ Reed is keeping the flies out of the end zone.  I believe NY can win this game, because they believe they can win it.  That makes them dangerous.  I like upsets.  Gang Green gangs up on Green Bay.

    Jaguars at Colts – I thought my head would explode watching that dreadful kicking duel at Mile High last week.  If I want to watch artillery barrages, I’ll tune in CNN’s Ukraine coverage.  And then come the Jags, fresh off a decisive win over the Bolts and a close loss to the undefeated Eagles, right into a WWE sleeper hold administered by the lowly Texans last week.  Just a horrible game.  Last time these teams met in Week 2, the Jags blanked Indy 24-0.  I don’t see that happening again, but neither do I see Matt Ryan suddenly figuring out why his passing game is trash with 5 TDs to 7 INTs.  Pederson’s Predatory Pussycats plunder the pitiful Ponies.

    Vikings at Dolphins – Two words – Skylar Thompson.  Miami has lost two QBs to Broken Coconut syndrome, as Teddy Bridgequarter went down with a dented squash last week.  The Vikes have no such problem.  Justin Jefferson will see a lot of Xavien ‘X-Men’ Howard’s ‘special powers’ to generate a ‘passing shield’ inside the red zone, but Dalvin should Cook against the Phish and create opportunities for Captain Kirk to boldly throw where no man has gone before.  Purples pummel the passerless Porpoises prominently.

    Bengals at Saints – Burrow & Chase return to their college home of New Orleans, while the Red Relic faces off against his old club.  Cincy’s offense has been uncharacteristically spotty this season, but they have all the groceries they need to make points appear, so it’s just a matter of time.  Their D is pretty solid, front to back.  The Saints have the Camaro back, but QB by committee and switching between pocket passing and the wildcat offense does not spell consistent results in the big leagues.  You could run the old Wishbone or I-formation against weak Seattle and have success, but nowhere else.  Tigers eat the Christians this week.

    Ravens at Giants – How about Brian Daboll’s Giants unpacking the Packers in London!  Who saw THAT coming?  There’s something in the water of NYC this year, if the Jets and Giants are any indication.  For the record AGAIN, is there a better try-hard in the NFL than Daniel Jones?  The guy has had no support since he was drafted, had the crap kicked out of him for 4 years, plays hurt because he plays unprotected, has had three head coaches in 4 seasons, and has never had the support of the fans.  What’s a guy gotta do to get some love in Gotham?  Lamar Jackson is asking himself the same thing in Baltimore.  The Ravens come to town with a rapidly improving pass D, a potent offense on the ground and capable through the air, and a division lead.  The Giants get a lot out of a little, but this week it’s going to be too little.  Barkley is an offensive tornado, but Slayton is their only healthy receiver who’s a big threat, and Peters & Humphrey are lockdowns.  Mark Andrews is Travis Kelce for all intents and purposes.  I hope the Giants get their wee Scottish punter back from London by Sunday…they’re going to need him.  Big Blue gets Black and Blue all over.

    Buccaneers at Steelers – Not to short-change Pittsburgh, but what do you need to see here?  Tampa isn’t playing their best ball, and they are nicked up on offense, and Tom Brady is a cranky old guy this year….and the Buccaneers are going to methodically steamroll this shell of a Steelers team.  Kenny gets Pickens the grass out of his facemask, as Todd Bowles over Mike Tomlin.

    Panthers at Rams – This is LA’s get-right game, and not a moment too soon.  Carolina can play some tough D, but they have no QB even when all three are healthy.  As inconceivable (thanks Fezzini) as the champion Rams’ problems are, they are a vastly superior team to the ‘mostly dead’ Panthers.  To blaaave!  Rams storm the castle.

    Cardinals at Seahawks – This divisional matchup pits a revitalized Geno Smith against an inconsistent Kyler Murray.  Neither team plays great defense, so Seattle will yield tons of yards on the ground while Arizona gives em up in the air.  Geno owns the league’s highest completion percentage, 5 points better than the next best.  Lockett and Metcalf are game-breakers, and only need a couple big plays each to decide an outcome.  As the feathers fly in this battle of the beaks, the Cardinals tweet while the Seahawks eat.

    Bills at Chiefs – Easily game of the week, although Cowboys/Eagles is right up there.  The two AFC juggernauts facing off in a remake of last year’s playoff showdown.  KC doesn’t have the same depth at defense they enjoyed the last several years, and it shows.  Rookie corner Jaylen Watson is a bright spot on coverage, and he may draw Stephon Diggs, but Gabe Davis and Isaiah McKenzie are proven step-up guys.  Josh Allen is a baby-faced killer, as he does all the things Mahomes does, but is harder to bring down.  Buffalo’s bookend pass rushers have 8 sacks already.  If you stop Kelce, you win.  McDermott knows this, the Bills know this, heck – your Aunt Gertrude knows this.  Apparently only the Raiders failed to recognize this.  In THIS Western classic, the Buffalo slay the Indians.

    Cowboys at Eagles – The other best matchup of the week.  Division lead on the line, the only undefeated team in Philly, and the Doomsday-II Defense coming to town.  The Cowboys will have to defend Philly’s stampeding ground attack, which averages 5 YPC.  Dallas gives up yards on the ground but not points, with only one running TD allowed this season, so their red zone ground-stoppers are solid.  Blazing Lamb is still the favorite menu item for Super Cooper Rush, but Darius can Slay an opponent’s best receiver and may silence the Lamb this week.  Pollard & Zeke are adequate pounders but not dominant, and when all these factors go into my sausage machine, the better defense wins.  Eagles protect the nest (and their unbeaten streak) for another week.

    Broncos at Chargers – BUH Buh buh buhh! MNF nets another snoozer.  Denver is the definition of Meh, with a meh run game, less than meh passing game, meh run & pass defense, and a Vroom pass rush.  Are we ever going to see the old Russell Wilson again?  The Chargers aren’t lighting the league up either, but they have more than enough voltage to stun these lackluster Ponies.  Bolts jolt the Colorado colts.

    Enjoy the games!

    -Pigskin Pundit (Nate Clark)

    The views here are those of the author and not necessarily Daily Surge.

    Image: By Cedward Brice – Flickr: 1st Play, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18897283

    Nathan Clark is a conservative commentator who resides with his wife in New Hampshire. He is passionate about preserving the vision of our nation’s Founders and advancing those tried and true principles deep into America’s future. His interests range broadly from flyfishing, cooking and shooting to pro sports, gardening, live music and fine-scale modeling.

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